Couple old pics from the Mission

Here's a couple mission pictures. My camera got stolen two weeks before I left so my pictures are limited and don't do anything justice. One of these is me my trainer and my 1st child. Another is squid. Another is one of my piano students Kyle, another is a baby I got to name after my trainer and I and another is me with my child and adopted children at a wild monkey park we went to on a Pday and another is the Alao family: an inactive family (that named their dog after me:)) that we were very much led by the spirit to find. Good story.... Okay Fine I'll tell it: So one day when I was still a new missionary with my trainer(ps she's still very much my idol), we were getting punted like none other. We'd gone to all our scheduled appointments and back ups but there was nothing. Suddenly my trainer turns to me, looks at me in the eyes and says,"we need to pray." Just as she said that, this sudden surge of warmth burst through me like "Yeah! We totally need to pray!" So we found this little old abandoned shack thinger and got down on our knees and prayed asking to know where we should go and what to do. After the prayer my trainer looks at me and asks where we should go. I was shocked! I had no idea... I was just a newbie! So after thinking for a while my trainer decided to go visit a family out in the boonies, but no one was home. That ended our morning so we went back for lunch and had a good afternoon. The next day the exact same thing happened in the same area. Just like before we prayed in the prayer shack. This time when we didn't know where we should go we decided to just walk. As we walked we focused hard. Suddenly I was like, "let's go over here."(to some area neither of us had ever been before). There we found a seemingly dead end road, but I thought we should keep going. Then we ran into a little family out doing laundry. They were smiling at us, so I said to my trainer, "...they look nice...?" and she said, "Alright! We're talking to them!" So we started talking to them. Come to find out they were members! They'd been forgotten by the ward for years and had been waiting for missionaries to come visit and reactivate them! Crazy how things work like that. They had a cool son named Fidel you can see in the picture with down-syndrome. He's one of my heroes. Gosh I miss them... A LOT!! But life goes on. Anyway the moral of the story is you don't see miracles till after the trial of your faith. We could've given up the second time we got punted, but we continued to exercise our faith and after it was tested there was a miracle. ... I have lots more mission stories like this, but I'm not sure my blog is an appropriate place for them. Is it?

Homecoming Talk

I know I haven't posted in years. So here's my homecoming talk. It's more like a guide of how I spoke and when to pause etc. I don't write out stories when I talk so I'll have to edit those in for you later maybe. Read at your own risk. Mostly just posting this to remember it.

TALK - Great to be here in the Great Grandview 10th ward. Lots of White people. Big noses. Great to be home. Great opportunity to speak.

- I'm not a perfect speaker, and I know for sure my English certainly isn’t perfect… but I’ve prepared a talk that I hope will help you improve your lives and help you come closer to Christ. But before I start, I’d like to invite you to pray for me while I speak. I believe that this more than anything can help you get the most out of my talk.—Even more than catching up on your sleep. So Please wake up now if you’re asleep and listen to what the spirit wants you to hear today.

-Ensign Quote” Perhaps the most important thing we can do to get more out of sacrament meeting talks is to pray for the speaker, pray that he or she will be able to express his or her message by the power of the Holy ghost. As the doctrine and Covenants declares, “He that receiveth the word by the Spirit of truth receiveth it as it is preached by the Spirit of truth. … He that preacheth and he that receiveth, understand one another, and both are edified and rejoice together.” When we invest in speaker by praying for them, we are in a sense, quietly cheering for them. We desire that they do well. And though our prayers help the speaker, they also help us. We are more receptive and consequently, get much more from sacrament meeting talks.”

- So brothers and sisters I hope that through your prayers, this sacrament mtg can be an edifying experience for both of us. I also hope that you’ve all brought questions in your mind today because my talk is aimed at answering some of those questions.

-Just returned from Philippines Tacloban Mission. Had a kabillion amazing experiences. If you’re thinking about a mission I suggest you inquire of the lord about it and if he says yes then just go for it. For me it was a win win situation. The blessings are Greater than you expect. Anything you sacrifice before your mission will be 10 times better after your mission.

-MARIBOJOC STORY Rosita (Went back and edited this a little for you) I told a story of some people in Calbayog that were inactive for 14 yrs and came back and 11 kids got baptized and they’re about to get sealed in the temple--- wait update: brother got the priesthood and They Did go to the temple ) --what changed them? BOM

-PMG: “The Book of Mormon, combined with the Spirit, is your most powerful resource in conversion.”

I’ve seen this... ...

-At one time on my mission we truly applied this promise from preach my gospel. We really wanted to invite the spirit into our lessons and expose people to the BOM so we were required to read 15 minutes in the BOM before we taught each lesson. As you can imagine this was kind of tedious. Especially in the Philippines where there were always animals and insects interrupting your lessons, little kids climbing all over you and the drunk neighbors singing karaoke next door. But we persisted. And we really saw changes in the lives of our investigators. Especially in One family—CASERO FAMILY…(told dramatic story #2 about a family in Alburea that was literally a bunch of beach bums but started reading in the BOM and they changed. The Dad needed glasses to read and the mom was a slow reader so every night their 9 yr old girl read to the family and boom they all got baptized)

-In The Introduction to the BOM J. Smith tells us that the BOM is “the most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone of our religion, and a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book.” (pause)

--So the BOM is the Most important book in the world. Without it we have no religion. I wouldn’t have served a mission in the Philippines and none of us would even be sitting in this room right now if it weren’t for the BOM. Everything we believe depends on the Book of Mormon. It is evidence that we have the exact gospel of Jesus Christ, restored through J. Smith.

-Yet often times we set our Book of Mormon aside and replace it with other books, or with the internet or even our cell phones. We can’t afford to forget the wholesome power of the BOM and the influence it has in our lives.

- Countless things we do can be related back to the validity of the BOM. For many of us it is central to how we make decisions and run our lives. If it is not true, we are basing our lives on another worthless worldly philosophy. It is imperative especially as members of the Church that we have firm testimonies of the truthfulness of the BOM. It is either a book from God or a book from Satan. There’s no in-between. We can’t just go off other people’s opinions; we must test the book personally and decide for ourselves whether it is true. Just as we’re invited to do in Moroni 10 we must first read the book of mormon and ponder about it, then “ ask God the Eternal Father in the name of christ if these things are not true.” And if we “ask with a sincere heart , with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto (us) by the power of the Holy ghost.”

-Once we know the truth of the BOM windows of opportunity open up in our lives. So it’s very important that we all are personally converted to the BOM. Before we can share our testimony with others, we must gain it. It’s hard to rescue someone when you haven’t yet rescued yourself. Just like you can’t very well pull someone to the top of a hill when you’re still stuck at the bottom. Once we become converted through the BOM the lord will use our experiences to guide others.

-I also learned this personally on my mission—LAPING STORY(some story of how I felt inspired to share how I got my testimony of the BOM with a lady in my 1st area even though my Cebuano was terrible. She ended up having the exact same concerns as I did and her family came back to church) Alma 60:23 “Do ye suppose that God will look upon you as guiltless while ye sit still and behold these things? Behold I say unto you, Nay. Now I would that ye should remember that God has said that the inward vessel shall be cleansed first, and then shall the outer vessel be cleansed also.” –this verse really struck me. I consider this one of the climax times in my life where I truly became converted by the BOM and acted on what I had read. ...

-So the conversion power of the scriptures is very intense. Numerous times in the BOM we learn of prophets and missionaries that use the scriptures to convert nations. Even Jesus Christ was extremely familiar with the scriptures and used them to teach clearly. The BOM testifies of Christ and brings us closer to him allowing us to partake more fully of his atonement and overcome obstacles in our lives.

-- There was one man I taught on my mission who had a lot of obstacles in life. His name was KOSHER-afro gotee nonconformist…(story of a guy who was a complete druggy who called his baptismal date his execution date. But he made it a goal to read the BOM. He’d read it every time he had addiction temptations and boom he finished it and changed hugely and got baptized)

--Also the BOM as I read earlier more than anything else will convert us to the gospel and bring us closer to God.

--As we’re nearer to God, we’re more in tune to the promptings of the Holy Ghost and qualify to receive revelation. When we have concerns, the Holy ghost through revelation will help us find our answers in the Scriptures.

-My mission president knew that answers to any of life’s questions can be found in the BOM. Once he challenged us to write down any questions we had and place them at the front of our Book of Mormons, then read every day and see if those questions weren’t answered. I tried his experiment myself and found it to be true. For every concern I had, there was an answer in the BOM. I know there is a power in the BOM. So I too challenge you all to try writing down your questions and see how they’re answered through your BOM reading. After all, every revelation received in the Doctrine and Covenants came while someone was studying the Book of Mormon.

-The Book of Mormon is also special because we can learn new things every time we read it. As we read the BOM we can incorporate its principles to fit any stage or happening in our life. We can read it as a teacher, as a mother, as a missionary, as an investigator, as a historian, as a bus driver or anything else. Nephi did this with his family in 1 Nephi 19:23 “And I did read many things unto them which were written in the books of Moses; but that I might more fully persuade them to believe in the Lord their redeemer I did read unto them that which was written by the prophet isaiah; for I did liken all scriptures unto us, that it might be for our profit and learning.” The Book of Mormon is from our loving Heavenly Father who knows us better than we know ourselves. When we sincerely read the BOM and apply it to our lives, he will make sure that we find the information needed for whatever circumstance or trial we’re facing.

It’s good to think of the BOM as an instruction manual for life. When you buy a new car or TV, of course you read the instruction manual before you operate it. When you don’t read the instruction manual and decide to just wing it, lots of problems can occur. Just like in our lives the BOM is our guide to greatness. When we forget to read the instruction manual for life, or we forget to read the BOM, things can be a lot more difficult. It’s important that we make reading the instruction manual a priority in our hectic lives.

Sometimes it’s hard to find time to read our BOM but it makes a difference. When we seek first the kingdom of God, all things are added unto us. One time in College I tried putting this to the test (Told another dramatic story of how I saw results reading my scriptures before I did my schoolwork.) When we put holy habits first in our lives, everything else falls into place. BOM reading is an essential holy habit. Through the BOM we can become truly converted.

So how can we become more converted through the BOM? -We must read the BOM Daily. Drink daily from the fountain of truth. Or as Nephi puts it, “feast upon the words of Christ.” Just like our bodies need food and water every day, our spirit too needs nutrition. When we go without food or water for a long time, our bodies become weak. Our spirits too become weak when we don’t nourish them with the good word of God. The prophet Lehi learned this in 1nephi 1:12 ‘and it came to pass that as he read, he was FILLED with the spirit of the lord.” When his soul was hungry, he read his scriptures and got the spiritual strength he needed to direct his family in the wilderness. We too can gain spiritual strength and direction as we read the BOM.

---If we give more attention to the word of God, God will give more attention to us. And we can be filled with his spirit and gain the knowledge we need to be successful in life. - Success comes from knowing and following the doctrines of Christ. Lately in the media our religion is getting more and more attention... People will question us and We must know what doctrine we believe. When we don’t know the doctrine, we don’t follow the doctrine and deprive ourselves and the next generations from receiving blessings. The exact doctrine is found in the Book of Mormon

-In the Philippines like many other 3rd world countries the retention rate is low because people aren’t gaining full testimonies of the BOM, Or in other words They don’t understand the doctrine. … I can’t tell you how many trainings we had about this on my mission. When people don’t understand the doctrine, they don’t read their scriptures. When they don’t read their scriptures, they don’t endure to the end and stop going to church and stop receiving blessings. So we need to make sure that we and the people we teach are learning the doctrine, and going to the source of the doctrine. Like drinking water from a spring. -Analogy of spring (I used an analogy from my mission pres about a spring coming out the mountain with animals in it and people doing laundry (and I added diapers) floating in … Where do you get a drink? Right next to the source of spring or after the water buffalo has played in it, people have washed their clothes in it and swam with diapers)…the question to ask yourself is… --If we want to know the true doctrine of Christ, we need to go to the source. Drink directly from the spring or the Scriptures... Want a clear testimony and be truly converted? we must read the BOM --There’s a saying somewhere that no one goes inactive when they’re regularly reading in the book of mormon. If we want to stay strong and converted we must read our BOM consistently.

I know that reading the BOM is just a small thing, but I also know that it will make a Huge difference in our lives. By small things great things are brought to pass. So I’d like to encourage us all to rediscover the BOM. Find it’s converting power for ourselves and share it with others. … … …

A video of the back yard. I think I took this last summer when I was in a strange mood. Anyway, now the world knows what I live with. Embarrassing, but historical. Rare footage of Mahanna sniffing out the squash in the garden.

Piano Playing

These posts aren't an attempt at showing off, but rather a secure place to store evidence for myself of what I could play on the piano before my mission, so don't judge. My computer Clarence may not be available to me upon return. So here are some videos of my rotting piano skills that will probably be more rotted in a year and a half. Maybe seeing these later will motivate me to revamp my piano playing. I'm really frustrated with Clarence cuz he won't post the videos I want to post so you'll have to endure these ones. Maybe I'll get back to this later

Could this almost be a real song one day if it got tweaked up? I'm going to forget it so this was a must post.

Mice :o

AAAAHHHHH!! Mice!! So I'm really scared of mice and I've had reoccurring mouse nightmares since I was a little girl. I recently had another mouse nightmare last night. A bunch of other stuff happened in the dream, but eventually there was this huge mouse the size of a small child chasing me around my house and then biting at my legs with ferocious teeth. AAAhhhh I HATE MICE! For years growing up I'd wake up with mouse nightmares and go into my parent's room. They got tired of me so they'd stick me in a room with one of my siblings. I usually went to Joanna's room and I'd kick on her wall until I went back to sleep. How did she put up with me?Anyway, No More Mice! Aaahh!
Ps among other weird things in the dream, one of my old piano students appeared wearing these enormous brown rimmed glasses to say, "they say that orange juice helps raise your blood sugar, but they don't really know."Random?

Old video from Ghetto Southridge

Well hello blog. Looks like I haven't written on you for a while. Sorry. School gets busy I guess. But hey! NO school right now! :) Right now I'm sitting in my brother's house in Grand Junction Colorado. This is my first Christmas away from home. We're here cuz my sister-in-law is in the hospital trying to keep a baby inside of her. I thought he was due in January but it's actually February so he's even earlier than I thought. I hope things work out okay and the baby doesn't have any cerebral dysfunctions or anything. They want to name him with an R name. Probably Riley... but I think Riley sounds like Miley Cyrus. I vote for Rampage :) or Roddick, Royal or Remington (Remington Steele used to be my favorite show). So yeah I'm just sitting here in David's kitchen debating whether or not to go to bed. I was looking at their family picture on the wall this afternoon and I remembered Dave's oldest boy Ryan's first Christmas. He was at our house and a little over a month old. He was just a tiny guy with tuffs of dark black hair...now he's blond and maybe 11? years old? Anyway I think he inspired me to want to have my own kids. I remember holding the little guy as we sat in a rocking chair and looked at the Christmas tree lights. I shushed him as he fell asleep. I was kinda younger and it was probably one of the first times a baby had fallen asleep in my arms. It must've been special to me cuz I've remembered that moment for so long. I guess maybe I discovered that I really liked holding sleeping babies and that was something I wanted to do more of. I wonder what the new baby will be like? Well... I've talked your ear off blog with memories. Maybe I should update real fast. School came and went this semester. I feel good about it though. I can honestly say I tried my best and the results are what comes from my best in college so I'm happy. I feel like I've learned quite a bit academically this year and enjoyed it. On Saturday I invited a good friend over and made gingerbread houses. I made a castle. I started acutane yesterday. I was hoping for some huge reaction to it immediately but nothing has happened yet so I'm sort of disappointed. Shouldn't get my hopes down though. I also decided that I must look like a pregnant terrorist. I have to prove I'm not pregnant to the doctors for my acutane doses every month and the people at the airport always pull the baton out on me. Yep I'm a pregnant terrorist. What else? Hmm... oh I was feeling really depressed the other day. You know those moments where you just feel like life is pointless and you're not worth anything? Yeah so I'm sitting there on my bed with my dog and I guess I must've started breathing loud or something, cuz my dog wakes up from her nap and looks me in the eyes with this look like, "Don't worry, it's alright." Then she got up and came to sit in the crook of my arm without expecting to be petted. Nice to know someone cares. I just wish I cared more about myself and my future sometimes. My goals for next semester are to be a morning person, go to the temple and get my HW done at school. You wanna know a secret? I'm tired of living off campus. I'm tired of people. I'm tired of girls. I'm not learning anything new from the people I'm living with and there's not much privacy and too many unnecessary obligations. I think I've discovered enough about myself to realize I might do better now in building confidence on my own. I have a base enough to know I'm a normal person and I'll have a bunch of people to learn how to deal with if I serve a mission. I'm really tempted right now to just move home and save some money up for my mission cuz my life feels so bland and empty at Campus Plaza. But when would I ever be assertive enough to make a decision like that? I don't know. This opinion will probably change within the next couple days. I've probably just been needing some me time and Christmas break will cover it. I hope. Well blog I should go to sleep. Now you have the full update on my life. Why write in a journal eh? No... sorry I'm just... leaking out today. Thanks for letting me leak blog. G'night.
Ps random pic?

Creeper Theories

So I was sitting in my Research Design and Analysis class and was bored out of my mind so I decided to write a blog. This is the same class where the teacher pulled me aside one day and asked if I had health problems cuz I fell asleep in his class everyday. So to keep myself awake I thought I'd write out my creeper theories. Life is getting to be more full of creepers these days. I walk into a grocery store at night and the drunk people just gather around, I can't play tennis without getting cat calls and to top it off there was a national sex offender in my kitchen last year. So here are my theories of why creepers creep about:

Theory #1: I'm pretty enough to be considered somewhat cute, but I'm ugly enough to be homely looking and approachable.

Theory #2: Piggy Sam. I carry a stuffed pig around a lot. The creepers see Sam and say, "oh look she's weird, she carries a stuffed pig around. I'm weird too. I'll fit right in."

Theory #3: I've always been a little bit petite. I look vulnerable and could easily be overtaken.

Theory #4: I have this connection with babies and animals. Ask anyone in my family. Babies and animals warm up really fast to me. There's this strange attraction there. Creepers have animal instincts and aren't very mature like babies.

The end.

Sorry to write such a random blog suddenly. I just needed a little break from school. When will school ever end?! Argh!

Update... in the morning?!

Good morning blog. It's been a while since I've written to you. I'm afraid I just haven't felt like writing to you lately. I'm sorry. Anyway I guess the main question today is why the heck am I awake right now?! I just naturally woke up at 6AM this morning and it's too wet and cold to go running so here I am. Why am I not in bed!! This year so far has been interesting. I'm like 9thousand times more disciplined for some reason. Of course that still doesn't make me very disciplined. But still it's strange. I start freaking out about an assignment when it's not due for weeks. Totally uncharacteristic of me! I've also been running regularly this year. In fact I ran my first ever 5K a couple weeks ago. It's just weird. I even fall asleep before 12:30 and stay awake most the time in class. I feel like old lady Kathryn this year. Who does that? I mean I actually have time to eat breakfast! It's ridiculous! I'm pretty sure it's not my roommates' faults. I just had a goal and have been trying to stick to it. I think the real goal that's been doing this for me though is my temple goal. Since school started I've gone to the temple every Saturday. It's really made my life easier. I have a pretty good load of classes this semester and some difficult questions to decide on, but I know I'll be taken care of and things will work out if I be a good girl and try to get to the temple more often. It's definitely been working out. I also just got a new calling at church. I'm an indexer. Fits perfectly with my ambitions for the school year. I love it. You know this year I really don't have much of an interest in branching out. I learned over the summer how well I could do it when I need to, but I think I need my focus more on school this year. It's not like I'm not going to be involved and won't make new friends and be nice to people, it's just not going to be as high on my priorities as it used to. I know that sounds bad, but really I don't feel that's where I should spend my time as much this year. Anyway this has turned into a blabber blog. Guess that's why I normally don't write in the morning. Lol! Can you believe I'm writing this much in the morning? What if I talked this much? Wow the world would be drastically different. Here's a random picture to make this blog more interesting. Oh my gosh it's me wearing glasses! Scandalous! No picture of this sort will probably ever be posted again so enjoy it while it lasts.

Maybe this is what I'll be for Halloween

"Ohh dear"

Here's what I'm watching during my 3 hour layover in the Phoenix airport. Don't ask me why I'm watching this though. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ba6hbhYV7f0

Faintful Experience

Hi blog. I'm really bored right now. I've been quarantined in our basement while my family is upstairs playing with my niece and nephew. I'm jealous. But I had a lifetime experience today and I thought I'd write about it to distract me. There's a thunderstorm going on in my tummy and a nice bump on my forehead and scab on my nose so I'm desperate for something to make me more comfortable. So today apparently I fainted or something for the first time ever. I've always wondered what it would be like. I didn't think I was that sick. This morning I woke up sick with something I guess and I was home alone. Thought it was maybe just one of my typical tummy attacks. Then Greg and his wife came over to get camping stuff cuz they're camping next week. Just as they were leaving I decided to walk around a little and yuck! Started throwing up in the bathroom. Gross! That's when I realized I might actually be sick. Then as I was walking back to my room I noticed it was kind of hard to walk straight and had to hold onto the walls and then suddenly there was this big bang and next thing I knew I was on the floor. Weird! Poor Greg and Lexi were just going out the door when they heard a huge thud and were like, "did she just faint?" so they hurried back only to find me flat on my face at the top of the stairs. How embarrassing. Good thing they came though or I might still be lying there. Anyway there you have it. My collapsing experience. Pretty dramatic eh? But now I'm bored to death and lonely and achey. Who knows maybe I have the swine flu :)

Mrs. Barnes

My sixth grade teacher was Mrs. Barnes. She also used to be my after school German teacher in 4th grade, but I'm afraid the only things that stuck to me from that were how to count to 10, "I am sick" and "there is the bear." On the first day of school to learn everyone's name, Mrs. Barnes had everyone make up an adjective beginning with the same letter as his or her name. For some reason I can still remember "beautiful Barnes" "careful Chip" "Courageous Camilla" and "Kookie Kim."The only adjective I could come up with beginning with K was Keen."Keen Kathryn." Boy was I an awkward sixth grader with my purple sweat pants and my round green glasses. Everyday we'd come in and do SSR(silent, sustained, reading). Then we'd do reading comprehension activities in these ancient looking books called Barnellofts. None of the other six graders used them and I always thought the only reason we did was because of the title's similarity to my teacher's name. Then we'd do math. I've always stunk at math. Mrs. Barnes was very specific with how to do math problems. You'd fold you're scratch paper up into 16's and make a column on the left hand side for answers. When you finished the assignment you'd take the paper up to her desk and she'd grade it right there in front of you. It made me so dang nervous! Then we'd go to recess. All of my friends had gone to Mr. Strong's 6th grade class so it was hard adjusting from playing sports and chasing games at recess to staying inside and playing Uno every day or jump roping. Then we'd come back in and spend the rest of the day on history and geography. Mrs. Barnes was very gung ho about geography. She made us draw maps quite frequently and I was often frustrated because I'd spend so much time on my maps, but always get B's because they were never as neat as the other girls. I guess though I got my revenge in PE since there didn't seem to be any athletic girls in my class. Anyway Mrs. Barnes also had a tape with all kinds of geography theme songs on it. I can still sing the European and African Country theme songs and to this day use them to remember where things are. However, I'm afraid our theme songs were cut short. I never learned the full states and capitols song because one day Mrs. Barnes informed us that she had lung cancer and would be missing lots of school. That's when our substitute Miss Morgan took over. She was an older lady retired from teaching and seemed to wear lots of purple velvety sport outfits. She liked to give us word searches and bribe us with M&M's. She was a very nice and grandmotherly lady but didn't always seem to be quite aware of what was going on or what curriculum we needed to be learning. But our class held together and we helped each other learn new things. Every so often Mrs. Barnes would drop in for a few hours and ask us for advice on her new wigs or tell us about the fun she was having driving around in her new red beetle. We saw less and less of her as time went on. By the end of the school year I'm not even sure if she was able to make it to our 6th grade graduation. About a year later Mrs. Barnes died. I've always remembered something she said around the first week of school, "look around this room. Look at these people. These people will be part of your core social group as you continue through Jr. High and High School. Get to know them well so you can rely on each other and help each other out." We certainly did. In that same sixth grade year 2 boys in my class got into a severe car accident leaving one of them mentally disabled. One girl lost her mom and our playground burned down. Mrs. Barnes' death was just the beginning. The next year one of our friends got a brain tumor and later died. Events like that continued and almost every year that group of six graders had to cope with at least one new tragedy. But I think we managed well. People used to say of my year in school "that's one unique group of kids. Look at all they've gone through." We've done well though. I'd like to think it had a little to do with Mrs.Barnes' example of optimism through her cancer that inspired us. Yes maybe we were the first group ever at Mountain View to not have a state championship and maybe our grades weren't as high, but we sure gained some character sticking together through all those experiences. I'm grateful for them and I'm grateful for what I learned in sixth grade from Mrs. Barnes.

Condorman

Yay!!

Slumping

It's slumping. My summer ambition to be someone is slumping. We had a campfire mathinger for FHE last Monday. I went-that's good. But I drove up there in the same car as a bunch of people from my homeward and that was a problem I guess cuz I just started acting like the shy homeward Kathryn again. Ugh. I guess the homeward Kathryn has improved a little but take like dancing or talking normally in the car- nope. I was just the quiet person as usual. Only speak when spoken to. BORING! Sometimes I feel like the way people treat me makes me act certain ways, but that's no excuse! I'm ultimately in control of my behavior. It's frustrating though when I want to break through that layer of dirt and be me and I don't know it just doesn't happen all the time. Then we played Ultimate Frisbee and I just didn't have the desire to run and be someone in the game although I easily could've. I saw a person on campus the other day and you know what I went right up to her and said Hi and chatted for a while, but it was still kind of formal awkward chatiness. Today was the worst though. There was a ward pool party. I went and had a hamburger and talked with a girl for a while but then when she left I kind of just shrank into the background. I just floated around the pool listening to other people's conversations. Not that I didn't attempt to strike up conversations with anybody, they were all just bland. Greg's right the 19th ward is pretty clicky. But I don't care I'm determined to break through them. But ugh. I'm slumping. I'm wondering if my motivation in that ward is starting to fall on the wrong things. I need a new plan of action. Look at what's becoming of my weekends? Sigh. I better do something tonight. That means I need to go finish working outside. Did you know I've pretty much been outside since 12:30 today? That's not fun. Only problem is I actually wore sunblock today. Darn it! It worked! I was hoping it would at least make me tan a little. Oh well.

Random Memory

Random memory I don't want to forget. Actually from Southridge. I loved to come home from school and make dinner then watch Knight Rider. Best theme music ever!... Close to Perry Mason. :)

Six Words

I just got back from some single adult fireside mathinger. I really didn't want to go, but ya know I've committed myself to this single's ward this summer and I was determined. It happened right smack in the middle of my scheduled Sunday nap time so I had to try hard to drag myself out of bed and get there. Then when I got there I was grumpy and wanted to go back to sleep. The dude speaking was great and he meant well, but... ya know not the most doctrinal guy and pretty bold if you know what I mean, but he was good. Anyway that combined with my tired grumpiness made it not so enjoyable. I told myself, "stay awake. There's gotta be something in this fireside for me." It wasn't happening and I wanted to sleep. He kept going off about having kids and marrying everybody not to mention his talk was entitled "Spiritual Perspectives in Romance" so you can imagine Kathryn by herself there was pretty miserable. Finally though toward the end of his presentation I got what I'd come for. Just six words. That's all I had to hear. Funny how that works. Exactly what I needed from a fireside like that. It was totally worth waking up for. Dude things are really clicking into place in my life right now. It's weirding me out a lot. Anyway there's a little experience to... inspire you and um... make you be proactive at church. Alright g'night.