Dude! I'm old!! So all the grandkids visited this Christmas. It was awesome! they're so fun! I love it when they visit. But... they're huge! Holy cow my oldest niece is in 5th grade! No possible way! How in the world did I get to be in college?(Amen. How did I make it to college with my grades?) Since when was my fiance coming home so soon?How long have there not been bumper chairs in Michael's car? Why do I get invited to old people parties and talked into dancing? When did I get de-moated from the kids table to the boring adult one for dinner? Why doesn't anyone know who Lamb Chops is anymore? When did my room turn into storage space? And I am not in relief society!! Agh!! Wow I'm a complainer and a half huh? That's kind of what I use my blog for probably. Anyway I guess I've always had a hard time coping with getting older...getting old! I hate my Birthday. I don't like standing on the scale(wait! aging is not an excuse for that! Scream! I've got some major New Years resolutions!). I read a book once about these two twins that discover this room where you can go and time slows down tons inside the room but keeps going outside of it. I shouldn't have read that book. Sometimes I think my own bedroom is like that room and time has no effect on me. Then somebody slaps me back into reality with a phone call or alarm clock or something. Geeze. Well what can you do though? Just accept it I guess. But I just accept everything! I only live my life to survive it. Does that make me a better person? Ofcourse not! Woah where is this conversation going? Is this even a conversation? I think I need more sleep. Well yeah anyway I feel old. The grandkids play with each other while us old people talk. They've replaced Greg and I. The other night I talked with my cousin. We didn't play ping-pong or sardines or anything we just sat and talked about boys...well she talked about boys. Seriously what is the world coming to? "Aunt Snugly" wants to stay snugly and not handle the responsibilities of an adult. And since when was Aunt snugly, Aunt snugly? I don't know though I need to grow up sometime. On Thursday night I started writing down my goals and things I'd like to eventually be able to do. I wrote eleven pages before I fell asleep and most of those pages were covered with adult-like behavior. I just worry that I'll lose my identity if I try to be my own age. Will the real Kathryn still be in there somewhere? I sure hope so. But who in the world is the "real Kathryn?!"Anyway I need more initiative in my life. I feel like such a huge slacker. Especially when I come home around my family. They are insane people. I wish I could be more like them. This year I was sort of stuck in the middle of everyone. The only teenager. No one knows quite what to do with me. Holy cow this post is getting way too long?(It should be it's 11:30pm and that's when I start getting creative). I should probably be safer and go start writing in my journal. Man I wish I could copy and paste this into my journal. Speaking of New Year's resolutions dude I need to be a better journal writer. My first semester of college down the drain. Now I'll never know what it was like from day to day. I think my journals are definitely going to be the next Scriptures one day and then I'll learn to tie my shoes and the shower won't sound like the heater anymore and make me late for work. Um g'night.
