The Stalker Story

On Saturday I went running and came home and this guy stopped me in the hall and asked, "can I look at your ward directory?" and I'm like"....uh...no?..uh sure?..." So I was like,"just tell me who you need to look up." and he wouldn't, so I said,"I don't know how comfortable I feel giving this out to a complete stranger." And he threw out this story about how he'd apparently gone on a quadruple date and there was some farm girl he really liked that he wanted to ask out and how she was "the happiest person he'd ever met." And I'm like,"dude just tell me who she is and I can help you out." and he said something like"if I tell you who she is and things don't turn out the way I'd like, then you'd be able to say you knew something about it." So I let him look in our address book. I'm such an IDIOT!! What would you have done? He didn't look like a creeper. He talked well and seemed like a genuinely nice guy. So he looked through the book and started writing stuff down and I was just waiting for him to leave, but he kept asking me questions. Like you know how on job applications there's that question that asks "have you ever committed a felony besides a traffic violation?" and he asked me "how would you answer that if you'd been sited for jaywalking?" And I'm like,"that's kind of a weird question. Is this a survey or something?" and he just kept talking. He said he wanted to surprise this girl at church and by now I was a little weirded out. So he asked me when our church was. All I said was it was in the MARB at 9. That's all. There's a kathousand wards that meet in the MARB at nine. In fact he was like "is there a periodic table on the left wall?" and I said,"yeah I think so." There's not. "so you must be in 445." And I'm like."sure I don't know." We're not in 445. So he keeps talking and asking me for advice for what he should do with this girl and I'm just waiting for him to leave. He asked if I had any roommates and I said I had three and acted like they were home, even though I was all by myself. I shouldn't have even let the guy in... in fact I didn't. I closed the door most of the way while I went to get the directory and he just walked in. Anyway so finally he leaves. I'm telling my roommates this story later and one of them said she saw him in our garage running down the stairs two at a time and he looked kind of lost. So we all thought, he was just looking for this girl. Here's where it gets creepy. So we all go to church the next day and we're sitting in sacrament meeting and my roommate asks if I'd seen the "jaywalker." And I was like,"nope" and then I look around a little harder and I'm like"wait..." and this guy was just sitting there by the wall by himself. He wasn't singing any of the hymns. He was just watching everyone. Then he stays sitting there through choir practice. Some guys went over to talk to him and he just kind of had his head down. Then apparently he followed everyone home from choir and was talking with these guys. That's all I knew at the time and I went home to watch Evan's 1st Birthday party on Skype with the fam. Then when I came back I learned that this guy had gone to the guy's side of our building asking for address books and writing down girls numbers there too. He hadn't told them anything about a girl like he'd told me. Apparently he'd talked with our executive secretary and told him he was from Sandy and needed a ride back there, but the other executive secretary that was there with them only saw and heard them talking and never heard a car start, so we're not sure yet whether he actually left Provo. The pieces should get filled in tonight. Somehow they set an interview up with him and our bishop and afterword the bishop sent guys around to all apartments warning us to keep our doors locked and be aware of "that guy in church today." They reported him to the police and apparently there's been a bunch of suspicious stalker activity in our area. AHHH!! Isn't that creepy? I've been making people walk me everywhere today. I'm so freaked out. I look around to make sure no one's following me or watching me at work. Apparently today was a bad day to make sure people weren't looking at me at work... cuz they were. Eww. and my boss made this totally awkward comment as usual. I was shelf reading and he comes by and was first like. "there's the tall girl." Cuz I was on a stool. Then he looks back at me and says"you know Kathryn as you get older, you get prettier." And I'm just like,"um... thanks? Roger." Ewww. Anyway. I'm pretty darn scared. That guy knows what I look like, where I live, probably knows my cell phone number. AHHH!! If he's a good stalker he'll wait a while until we're all least suspecting it and then.... AHHHH!!! I'm going to pee my pants. That guy was here! In my kitchen! Talking to me!! AAAHhh!!

Trying to say something

Sometimes I wish I could just express my own opinions. It seems like lots of the time the only way I can get something out of me is when someone is cynically presenting the opposing argument, so I'll say something but there's a but load of junk backing it up that I just can't put into words properly. I was just trying to write a paper about Social Darwinism and I went from person to person asking their opinions, trying to get "ideas" for my paper. Then I realized,"well dude! What's my opinion? Can't I have a say in this too? This is MY paper after all!"Contrary to popular belief... or what I like people to think, I actually do have opinions on a lot of things and pretty strong ones too. I just don't always feel comfortable sharing them and when I try to communicate lots of the time I start worrying about getting judged or I'll judge my own poor speaking skills and wallow in a butload of inhibiting insecurity and fear. What a tragedy to myself and those around me and all the unexpressed feelings I have. Another thing is when I do express them... the way I think... it's just... I have an underlying idea in my head and then I talk through things presenting possible solutions to something, but my underlying idea is still there and the answer even though I acknowledge a bunch of other ones. I often think out loud or while I'm arguing with someone and I sound like a schizophrenic. Sort of like the way I talk about gospel stuff sometimes. Yeah I know it's true, but not everyone in the world does and not everyone in the world is a bad person for having different ideas than me. Wow. This is an incoherent blog again. See what I mean? I'm not understandable so why express myself? Maybe one of these days I'll find someone who can really understand me and how I think.

Flexibility

So I was trying to do some of my HEPE homework today and they said that flexibility allows you to reach things on higher shelves and look behind you while you're driving. And I thought it would be fun to act like I believed that tall people were more evolved because they don't need to learn to be flexible and can reach things in high places. So I mentioned this to my roommate Jenilyn and she asked me if giraffes were the most advanced and started talking about giraffes getting drinks and I got a really funny picture in my head. Maybe giraffes are really vulnerable when they get drinks but I still think they are the most advanced. And this picture was inspiring.
Ps and think how much baby giraffes have to go through to survive being dropped so far at birth. Survival of the fittest I tell you. :)

:)